17 Ways Perspectives Change After Having Kids

We all think we know what life is going to be like after making the life changing decision of having kids. We know life will change, but we just have no clue how much. Here’s a peek.

1. ON DELIVERY

Before Kids: A well researched birthing plan that includes water hypno-birthing, scented candles, no pain medication and a certified midwife.

After Kids: Epidural, two crappy chocolate doughnuts from the hospital cafeteria and slice the baby out of me so we can move on.

 

2. ON BABIES

Before Kids: Fragile, noisy, breakable decorations.

After Kids: Fragile, noisy, irreplaceable essentials. And that smell.

 

3. YOUR BRAIN

Before Kids: A coherent optimal processing unit that helps you focus, produce and inspire.

After Kids: A schizophrenic mushy blob that can’t retain information and refuses to show up when you need it most.

4. JUDGMENT OF OTHER MOMS

Before Kids: I’ll do it better.

After Kids: We’re all in this together ladies!

 

Copyright Katarzyna bialasiewicz
Copyright Katarzyna Bialasiewicz

5. TODDLER TEARS MAKE YOU

Before Kids: Go running towards the noise and frantically try to solve the problem

After Kids: Grab your phone and check Facebook until it stops.

 

6. STROLLERS

Before Kids: The bane of your existence especially at malls and airports.

After Kids: A life (and back) -saving device that you would rather prostitute yourself for than go without

 

7. YOUR DAY JOB

Before Kids: A drag.

After Kids: Freedom.

 

8. OTHER MOMS

Before Kids: Overactive mouthpieces for the mundane tricks their little monkeys have performed

After Kids: The only type of human on earth who can truly understand the pride swelling inside you when your child drinks from a big-girl cup or wipes her own butt for the first time.

9. ON COFFEE

Before Kids: Pleasure

After Kids: Survival

 

10. ON ALCOHOL

Before Kids: Entertainment

After Kids: Sanity


11. THE BATHROOM WHEN THE DOOR IS SHUT

Before Kids: Do your business and get out.

After Kids: A safe haven of privacy and solitude where a few precious minutes are stolen.

 

12. THE BATHROOM WHEN THE DOOR IS OPEN

Before Kids: Doesn’t happen, or no one cares.

After Kids: Dealing with baffling questions like: Mommy why do you have a beard on your peepee?

 

13. ON SEX

Before Kids: Bring it on, Baby!

After Kids: Bring the baby, he’s crying.

 

14. FRIENDS

Before Kids: If they have kids, you don’t know them.

After Kids: If they have kids, you’re not going. If you have kids, you’re not invited.

 

15. MASSAGES

Before Kids: Luxury and relaxation

After Kids: I don’t want any more little hands touching me!!!

 

16. GOING OUT

Before Kids: Dress, heels, makeup, lotion, hair, perfume and done!

After Kids: Ok I changed into a clean t-shirt, let’s go.

 

17. YOUR PROFESSIONAL LIFE

Before Kids: High-powered performance and output, well on the path to career success.

After Kids: An unamusing oxymoron.

 

Don’t tell me you don’t escape into the bathroom for personal time out! What are your top 5 perspective shifts?

Kathy

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